Temple University Athletics
Abercrumbie: Engaging Speaker Delivers Strong Message
4.21.13 | General
So I'll admit it, hearing that I had to attend a talk about sexual responsibility (again) as a senior in college did not initially tickle my fancy, especially when I first heard the talk would be a mandatory event. However, after talking to the administrators who scheduled it and actually attending the talk, all of that changed.
On April 3rd, Elaine Pasqua addressed the student-athletes of Temple University about sexual responsibility during her presentation “Sex & Excess: Surviving the Party.” The flyer said it would be honest and hilarious, so naturally I looked to some of my teammates and said, “Whose definition of hilarious do you think this is referring to?” But let me tell you, hilarious does not even begin to describe it.
Interactive. Hard-hitting. Fun. Laughable. True. These are just a few of the words that come to mind when I think about the talk with Elaine. This was definitely not just another cookie-cutter lecture where everything was sure to go in one ear and out the other.
One of the most memorable events of the presentation was the scenario that showed how a lie or two could easily lead to many people being infected with an STI (Sexually Transmitted Infection) for life was an activity I'll certainly remember. Elaine called for six volunteers (I was one of them) and each of us was given a card with our name and colored dots on the front (representing the people we had been intimate with) and a brief biography on the back.
The six of us, stood in front of the crowd and one-by-one read our stories. It was up to the audience to figure out if it was okay/safe for one female (who stood at one end of the line) to be intimate with her boyfriend (who stood at the other end of the line). Throughout the course of the story we found out that a few of the people were lying to their partners, experimenting sexually and with their sexuality, and also, unknowingly passing on an STI. I had the role of Kate, the girl who had only been with one sexual partner (who she thought had only been with her) but got sick and found out she contracted HIV. Kate did not know who to tell, who she could go to, or what to do; Kate felt helpless and like her life was over.
The startling truth about this scenario is that most of us know of a person who was represented in the scenario: a promiscuous party girl/guy, someone afraid to tell the truth about their sexual history, someone experimenting sexually or with their sexuality, someone being pressured or uncertain about engaging in sexual activity, and that person who has contracted something- possibly by negligence (through intoxication) or an instance of letting their guard down. Chances are many of these types of people could exist within our inner circles or even on our teams.
However what stuck with me most about this situation is something that Pasqua touched on which I also heard a week prior to the presentation at the “Can I Kiss You?” Program by author and activist with the Date Safe Project, Mike Domitz: the importance of bystander intervention and providing support.
Each of us has loved ones and can think of what we would do if someone else hurt one of our loved ones, but there should be no need for it to go that far. In the event that something bad happens, we should not jump into action proclaiming that we would do harm to someone else. The best thing to do is: support the individual who was harmed, remind them how strong they are, be there for them whenever they need something, and calmly intervene in situations where we perceive something bad could be happening to someone else. As Pasqua said, “A waiter doesn't order our food for us, someone else shouldn't be able to give consent or tell us when we're ready for sex.”
Although this was a hard-hitting moment for me, Pasqua made sure to end on a more lighthearted note. I will not reveal everything about the last moments of Pasqua's presentation, but I will say if you have not heard her speak, you should find a way to do so! I guarantee you will learn something new, or at least have a few good laughs!! All I will tell you, however, is that I will never listen to/see the Hokey Pokey as I did in early childhood!!
I am beyond happy that I was able to attend this presentation. I am beyond happy it was something the administration saw as fitting for all of our student-athletes. I do not know how they will be able to top this in the coming years, but I do know that many people, from different teams, and of different ages, enjoyed Pasqua's presentation and learned things that will stay with them for years to come.
Jenni Abercumbie is a senior member of the Temple women's track team and the president of Temple's student-Athlete Advisory Committee.
On April 3rd, Elaine Pasqua addressed the student-athletes of Temple University about sexual responsibility during her presentation “Sex & Excess: Surviving the Party.” The flyer said it would be honest and hilarious, so naturally I looked to some of my teammates and said, “Whose definition of hilarious do you think this is referring to?” But let me tell you, hilarious does not even begin to describe it.
Interactive. Hard-hitting. Fun. Laughable. True. These are just a few of the words that come to mind when I think about the talk with Elaine. This was definitely not just another cookie-cutter lecture where everything was sure to go in one ear and out the other.
One of the most memorable events of the presentation was the scenario that showed how a lie or two could easily lead to many people being infected with an STI (Sexually Transmitted Infection) for life was an activity I'll certainly remember. Elaine called for six volunteers (I was one of them) and each of us was given a card with our name and colored dots on the front (representing the people we had been intimate with) and a brief biography on the back.
The six of us, stood in front of the crowd and one-by-one read our stories. It was up to the audience to figure out if it was okay/safe for one female (who stood at one end of the line) to be intimate with her boyfriend (who stood at the other end of the line). Throughout the course of the story we found out that a few of the people were lying to their partners, experimenting sexually and with their sexuality, and also, unknowingly passing on an STI. I had the role of Kate, the girl who had only been with one sexual partner (who she thought had only been with her) but got sick and found out she contracted HIV. Kate did not know who to tell, who she could go to, or what to do; Kate felt helpless and like her life was over.
The startling truth about this scenario is that most of us know of a person who was represented in the scenario: a promiscuous party girl/guy, someone afraid to tell the truth about their sexual history, someone experimenting sexually or with their sexuality, someone being pressured or uncertain about engaging in sexual activity, and that person who has contracted something- possibly by negligence (through intoxication) or an instance of letting their guard down. Chances are many of these types of people could exist within our inner circles or even on our teams.
However what stuck with me most about this situation is something that Pasqua touched on which I also heard a week prior to the presentation at the “Can I Kiss You?” Program by author and activist with the Date Safe Project, Mike Domitz: the importance of bystander intervention and providing support.
Each of us has loved ones and can think of what we would do if someone else hurt one of our loved ones, but there should be no need for it to go that far. In the event that something bad happens, we should not jump into action proclaiming that we would do harm to someone else. The best thing to do is: support the individual who was harmed, remind them how strong they are, be there for them whenever they need something, and calmly intervene in situations where we perceive something bad could be happening to someone else. As Pasqua said, “A waiter doesn't order our food for us, someone else shouldn't be able to give consent or tell us when we're ready for sex.”
Although this was a hard-hitting moment for me, Pasqua made sure to end on a more lighthearted note. I will not reveal everything about the last moments of Pasqua's presentation, but I will say if you have not heard her speak, you should find a way to do so! I guarantee you will learn something new, or at least have a few good laughs!! All I will tell you, however, is that I will never listen to/see the Hokey Pokey as I did in early childhood!!
I am beyond happy that I was able to attend this presentation. I am beyond happy it was something the administration saw as fitting for all of our student-athletes. I do not know how they will be able to top this in the coming years, but I do know that many people, from different teams, and of different ages, enjoyed Pasqua's presentation and learned things that will stay with them for years to come.
Jenni Abercumbie is a senior member of the Temple women's track team and the president of Temple's student-Athlete Advisory Committee.
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